Confusion, Randomness

Wow. I was really down this morning while walking to work. I was a sad face walking up to the 2-3 express at 72nd street, and on the subway alllll the way down to my workplace at Broadway and Pine. But that's ok, because everyone else on the subway looked miserable, too. Part of it was that I was reading Hemingway short stories, and none of them have been jolly & happy, yet. :)

Anway, as much as I talk about "doing" things and not talking about doing things, I really don't know what I'm doing.

I left software because it wasn't fulfilling enough -- the big picture, that is. The little technical challenges are fun (when you run into them), and a good laugh about something geeky can be really welcome. But I fundamentally haven't cared about any of the software work I've done. I'm not talking about the web work that I do in the areas of my serious hobbies; those are certainly projects from the heart. I'm talking about my full time job at E.piphany, and about doing contracting work here in New York. Although, the people at E.piphany were not "typical," which made it fun during the early stages of the company. Here in New York, I sit in isolation all day, with occasional interaction with (or against?) people I'm never going to be friends with.

People ask me how my day went at work, and I literally have no answer. I imagine my answer to be:

"..." (with a slight shrug and a tilt of the head)

... because it was simply a trade: 8 hours of my skilled labor for a check and for the opportunity to spend time with my friends in New York. My real day starts at 6pm.

I'd like my real day to start when I open my eyes in the morning. That's what I'm going to work toward, after this gig.