Scary-Ass Shit


this thing watched me sleep, all night

I woke up this morning to find something on the sliding door. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the thing was THREE-AND-A-HALF INCHES IN DIAMETER and had EIGHT EYES, TWO HUGE FANGS/INCISORS, and SPIKES ON ITS LEGS; clearly, it was one of the scariest fucking things I had ever seen.

Naturally, I caught the thing and hid it in the closet so that the cleaning lady wouldn't prematurely dispose of it or die of a heart attack or something.

I related the story to the others while on the dive boat, and Natalie (a visiting dive instructor from Montreal) informed me that she had captured a scorpion in her room just the other day. I quickly hatched a plan to make them fight, but... well, it didn't happen. I can assure you that there would have been a scary-ass critter duel to the death if Kenny had more vacation time and had been with me on the trip. Damn him! Instead, I just took some photos before tossing it into a bush.