REFLECTIONS: PRE-COGNIZANT

pre-cognizant

i was told that i was bald when i was born. i don't know if that's true, but it's funny to imagine because i had a big head and big ear lobes, which excited all of my relatives for reasons involving buddha. our family is lucky to have many photos of me when i was born. they sit, with numerous other albums, in our library, and it's neat to thumb through them when i return home to visit my parents. in the early albums that featured me as a young child, i am struck by a few things: in those photos, my mother was in her mid-to-late twenties, just like me and my friends are right now. my grandmother was in her forties. i always have a big smile on my face when food is near. as my sister and i grew older and hit that age where siblings close in age live in their own strange world, our expressions became virtually identical in photographs. we were connected by a link that no one else could understand. that link binds us together even today.


i'm told that i often looked like this.

there's that look again!

at the zoo. this pose would eventually evolve to
monster faces.

there are lots of photos of me and slug-baby wendy. in the early ones, i look very confused. i'm staring at this new thing that gurgles. mom and dad pay lots of attention to it, and it's fatter than any stuffed animal i've seen. i'm not sure if i really thought any of those things, but i'd like to imagine that it's an accurate portrayal. flipping just a few pages ahead in the album, i'm suddenly slug-baby's best friend, looking like i'm having fun with a new sister to entertain. it's too bad my dad isn't in many of these photos. i guess he's the one behind the camera.


staring at the drooling slug mom and dad brought home one day.

w/mom, grandma, and sis'

w/grandma and slug-baby


me and wendy!

it's me. i'm not a girl, even though i look like one in this picture.

wendy was often confused as a little girl.

sea world! our favorite
place back then.

i started taking piano lessons when i turned six. shortly after, i asked my mom whether i could start playing the cello as well. our piano teacher's son played the cello, and it seemed like a fun thing to do. i remember it being really easy to learn, but that's probably because i've blocked out all of the trauma.


young cellist, on

shiny half-size cello

young pianist.
previous: intro next: camp
PHASES
introduction
   pre-cognizant
      camp
         high school
            frosh
               summer
                  sophomore
                     china tour
                        junior
                           austin
                              senior
                           apple
                        co-term